Driven By, To, From and Around Distraction

There’s a great new television commercial featuring a man in a car as he is approached in a garage by a gentleman who warns him that he will be talking on his cell phone when he backs his own car up and might accidentally hit this man’s vehicle.  The same man in the car is later cautioned by a fellow driver that she will be doing her makeup while driving and might swerve into his lane.  Another person alerts the same driver that he will be eating while driving and so might side swipe his car by accident.

The man is being warned that the people around him are distracted and could pose a danger to him and his property.  Most of us don’t get that warning.  We might not realize that we ourselves are too distracted to be completely reliable, that we are driven by, to, from and around distraction.  We might be unaware of its effect on ourselves and others.  And most of all, we might know why distraction drives us so.

Two great Russian philosophers, Gurdjieff  and Ouspensky, believed that most of us are asleep and live our lives like machines. Their suggested remedy was to be ever conscious of who we are and what we are doing -  by remembering ourselves.

A modern version of this might be that we are terribly distracted and therefore find ourselves reacting to life rather than creating it.  We seem to always be a few seconds behind.  Life has become so complex and there are so many important things going on in our lives that we want to do as much as we can.  We don’t want to miss anything. But what is the remedy?

We have our cell phones that go everywhere with us.  When they make a noise of our choosing we are duty-bound to answer no matter where, no matter when.  Some of us also have our iPods, iPads, iMacs, our Walkman (where have you been?), FAX, blog, tweeter, and text messages demanding our immediate attention.   What are we to do?  The world beckons.

So why do we allow this to happen, if we really have a choice, and is it good or bad?

As always, I have a theory.

I think that there are several reasons why we have allowed ourselves to become so distracted.

First there is the genuine desire and need to do the best we can. Many of us of believe that in order to do our best we must be available to all the inputs or stimuli that we can.  If we network, we should have as wide a net as we can spread.  If we are serving clients, we want to be available to and for them and to all correspondence needed to assist them.  We want to be productive.

Then, I think that there is the need to feel connected. If it is a woman walking alone in an unfamiliar part of town or if it’s someone dining alone at a restaurant filled with happy couples, or just people wanting to make sure no one thinks that they are really alone or have nothing to do. Our electronic devices have become our friends and sidekicks.  Our devices are magical like the Captain Video ring or Dick Tracy’s wristwatch phone were to us 50 years ago.  We won’t go anywhere without them. Our connection with them and with all the interactions that they avail us is rooted, i believe, in our umbilical cord’s link to our mothers, our primary source of nutrition and love.

But I think that there is a deeper reason why we are so subject to and also eager for distraction.  I think that it is for the same reason people drink alcohol - to divert us from the weight and responsibility of the here and now.

How many of us have denied responsibility for some mindless or thoughtless act by saying that we were drunk and didn’t know what we were doing or failing to do at the time?  What is the purpose of college fraternity parties if not to get coeds so drunk that they won’t be or feel so morally responsible?

I see the same deniability every day in the dog park.  A couple are walking their dog but are distracted and never seem to notice that their dog is going to the bathroom and needs to be cleaned up after.  Sometimes it is because the people are in a deep conversation and can conduct it only by looking away from where their dog is.  Or maybe one is on a real important cell phone call that must be done while facing away from their canine charge. Or maybe they are busy with their beloved child and just do not notice.

How many people late for their appointments or unable to return calls were just too distracted?  How many cars go through red lights and stop signs because the driver is deeply involved in his cell phone call?  How many parents ignore signs of trouble for their children because they were just too involved in other things?  How many orders for goods or services go wrong because someone along the line was thinking about something else?

It may be just me but it seems that this problem has gone way beyond errors by government agencies and children spilling milk.  It has gotten to be a gamble whether the ultimate product will even approximate the original request.  If you order your burger medium rare, will it be?  Or was the waitress too distracted to get your complete request or was the chef busy text messaging his girlfriend who was in the middle of a brain surgery and was trying to find just the right part of the brain to drill in this life and death operation?

When you call customer service trying to resolve a serious issue, is the customer service representative so overwhelmed by the many calls that she accidentally disconnects you after you waited half an hour on the line to get her?  If you finally, after the third or fourth try, get to speak to the live person and the person promises to take a certain action on your behalf, will that person remember?  And if so, will the memory be correct or confused with another order?

I’ve noticed it driving lately. People don’t seem aware that the light has changed or that they can go ahead and make a right at the light or that the speed limit is well over the five miles per hour they are driving or that they don’t have to maintain eye contact with their passenger, if driving while conversing, especially if the passenger is in the back seat.  And these drivers aren’t even the ones on cell phones or eating and drinking their lunch or text messaging while on the move.

So is this good?  If distractions are driving us to accomplish more but poorly, is it good?  Is quantity more important than quality?  And if, as we are constantly reminded by columns like this one, the key to life is living in the here and now by doing everything as an end in itself as well as a means to an end, how can distractions help? If the key to success is the ability to focus completely on what we are doing, how does doing several things at the same time fit?

How many home runs did Babe Ruth or Mickey Mantle or Barry Bonds hit while they were thinking about something else?  How many actors give their best performances with their minds on something else? Are great pianists or opera singers actually mentally involved in a different activity while they perform?

If these questions seems so easy to answer “no” to, then why do we continue to sacrifice our ability to perform at our best for the sake of performing at our most, shortchanging everything we do?

I think that as Shakespeare lamented “the world is too much with us.” It’s too much to take in one bite so we take parts of it at different times.  We don’t want to put all our eggs in one basket because what if it leaks? Instead of putting all our money on one horse to win, why not put money on three horses to at least show.  If you’re really lucky they might all come in in the top three.  If you’re really lucky, you might be able to have an intelligent cell phone conversation while driving at the appropriate speed and stopping at the right place for the right amount of time.  Sometimes, we are lucky and sometimes, we’re not.

I suggest that we test this theory.  Let us try to do one thing at a time giving it our full attention.  Let us do this not only as the means to some future end, which it always is, but also as an end in itself.  If we are vacuuming to keep our home clean, let us also do it for the pleasure of doing it.  When we eat, let us do it not only for nutrition, but also just for the pleasure of tasting different flavors.  If we drive to the store let us enjoy the ride.

If my theory is correct, we will perform more efficiently, effectively and enjoyably.  We will experience the beginner’s mind finding that whatever we do will feel like it’s the first time. We will know pleasure of childlike simplicity as in a constant meditation.

If my theory is incorrect, it will be because I have been very distracted trying to keep my laptop steady as I drive through the rain.  It’s not my fault.